How to deal with one partner needing more sex than the other

Sensual foreplay extends far beyond the confines of the bedroom. Picture this: seductive texts exchanged throughout the day igniting your imagination, or those tantalizing stolen kisses while you tackle everyday errands, each moment amplifying the craving for what’s to come. Let the thrill of teasing each other linger throughout the day, stoking the flames of desire for an unforgettable rendezvous.

Foreplay is not just exciting; it is an essential component of intimacy that ignites passion and deepens connections. It heightens arousal, builds anticipation, and enriches the overall experience, making every moment more pleasurable and satisfying. By prioritizing foreplay, partners can explore desires, establish trust, and create an electrifying atmosphere that enhances their bond. Embracing this part of a relationship is key to unlocking a fulfilling and vibrant sexual life.

When two people start dating, how can they know if they really match? In all possible ways? Of course they can’t. And of course there’s a whole set of tools and techniques to overcome differences, like open communication for example.

Yet, different communication-styles and anticipations of norm’s can present big hurdles. Taboos, preconceived and assumed facts also impose impossible limitations on fruitful results.

One big area of difference is often in the erotic space, from huge experience-differences to differences in hormone levels. Age also plays a big role. Younger people typically desire sex all the time. As time goes on, some people lose interest totally for many reasons.

Some are happy with sex once a month, and some would like sex multiple times a day.  Men typically can get “performance-issues”, but some also just get more and more horny and not the least, get more creative and open-minded

The opinions and views here are from a man’s perspective, and the idea is to share how a man thinks. It’s not meant to dictate how women should be. The goal is to share some thoughts from a man’s perspective. This creates an opportunity to emphatically find solutions that suit both, for the best of both.

Empathy

Empathy is truly the heart of a healthy, fulfilling relationship. It means not just understanding your partner’s emotions but genuinely feeling them. This nurtures a deep connection. It builds trust and cultivates mutual respect. Here’s how empathy becomes a vital force in enriching relationships.

Healthy couples do a lot of things out of love. I don’t feel like going for a walk. She does, and she wants my company. So, I gladly go with her. I feel like going out for Greek food, which she’s not really into, but she goes with me. She needs to talk, and I don’t really feel like it, but I do it. All of these are things we do for our partner because we love them.

Sex should be the same way. You’re horny and I’m not? No problem, I’ll do something for you because I love you and I don’t want you to be hard up.

Unfortunately, we have this weird idea that no one should ever have sex unless they really want to have sex. Women were told having sex just for him meant she was being used, if not abused. Having sex for love became a bad thing, something to be avoided at all costs”

Differences that are common

In same-aged relationships a couple often starts up having sex all the time, exploring and learning together. But as time goes by and kids are born, often the man still wants intimacy. The woman isn’t so keen anymore or has too many other things to think of.

In huge age-difference relationships, the older man has experienced a lot. He wishes to have more of this experience. On the other hand, the younger girl knows only plain vanilla-sex. That’s what she thought sex was. Often it’s also a man who takes initiatives. 

On many fora the topic of difference in sex-desire is often discussed. Women often say things that essentially mean “You have to communicate with your man to stop being so horny.” They also say, “Your husband needs to respect you and wait till you want.” Or, “A man who wants sex three times a day needs to see a doctor.” I believe this is to try moving against natural forces. 

Why not try seeing and discussing alternatives, which can be great for both?

Create an open line of communication with each other

Open communication is often the first to think of to deal with the issue. And yes, that’s great, but open communication has an important prerequisite to be successful. It requires that both have a solution-oriented positive mindset, with empathy and openness, no taboos and no preconceived opinions.

When having such issues as above in a relationship, isn’t it naive? Isn’t it unrealistic to believe that they both would suddenly have this mindset? And by just talking together everything is great? Isn’t the challenge exactly that a common understanding, and total openness to new ideas, is missing? Making it nearly hopeless to find solutions by talking together? And where changing mindset is the biggest hurdle?

Take advantage of new opportunities

Firstly it’s important to distinguish between facts and opinions. This can be a challenge in itself, due to prejudice or the lack of openness towards different thinking. Masturbation by some be considered a sin, while for others it’s fantastic for both men and women.

A Polyamorous relationship is unthinkable for some because it’s so different from conventional thinking. For others, it presents a world of opportunities.

A polyamorous relationship is another option to consider. This can work if one partner wishes for more sex while the other isn’t really so eager for sex anymore. A relationship with more partners is unthinkable for some. This is because it’s so different to conventional thinking. For others, it’s a world of opportunities.

Often bi-sexual people choose a polyamorous relationship because they can live out both sexual sides. Couples with an age or experience gap can also gain from this approach. It helps them prosper together and overcome challenges for the advantage of both. Due to jealousy or complexity reasons  it can very well be only one partner who has two partners. 

This is an exciting way to use role-play in addition. Like in our case I love to be denied orgasms and even her pussy. To also be humiliated with an erotic damned horny smile is like the dessert after a fantastic dinner.

Both are only a matter of mindset in fact. Many consider it a risk, but without considering maybe bigger risks with conventional relationships. Some spend time on and value foreplay, some only wanna stick it in and cum. Some remember to value and nurture romance, some forget this in a hectic life.

Mindset plays a key role in everything

Not enjoying a vibrator or a dildo often stems from personal beliefs and mental barriers we create for ourselves. Feeling not horny simply means that the right moment hasn’t yet arrived. The absence of sexting, playful affection, or compliments can contribute to this feeling. A lack of stimulating content that ignites desire can also play a role.

Horniness is not a choice; it’s a natural response rooted in various factors. A man’s attraction can thrive on the way a woman dresses. It can also grow from the intimate whispers she shares. Physical appearance plays a significant role in want. Scent also has a significant impact.

Emotions like jealousy or mistrust can complicate the longing for intimacy. These emotions underscore the intricate web of feelings that influence our sexual connections.

Not just that, there are many opportunities to find great solutions for both. The big hurdle is a lack of openness to different and new ways of thinking. With so much prejudice, taboo-thinking, lack of empathy or lack of actually caring for the partner, but without realizing it. Thinking loaded with negativity instead of with positivism.

Here are some ideas that be helpful

Here are some ideas at least, something to think of to improve the relationship and reduce bad vibes.

Create an atmosphere of openness and trust while communicating. In other words, listen. You are more to find ideas and solutions that suit both.

An easy way is for her to endorse, support and encourage him to masturbate instead of fucking her again until she’s hot and ready again. If he’s horny but knowing she’s positive he can think of her and have great pleasure like that, longing for the next time he can have real sex with her, dreaming of her while he has great pleasure alone. This can empower the relationship a lot, and reduce  embarrassment or discomfort. And BTW., what’s the problem with this?

If she’s the damned horny all the time he of course will not need to masturbate. And in this case she better have her dildos, G-spot simulators and vibrators at hand, while he’s maybe doing the chores this time, hearing and enjoying her moaning? It’s not for everyone to think new and creative, but why not try?

A role-play can be anything you want it to be

A role play doesn’t need to be a play, that’s only an expression. Why not make it a way of living and a way of prospering together. The role-play doesn’t matter. It should turn one or both on. The other one must manage to live with it and profit from it. 

I can’t propose or suggest what role-play suits others, and it depends on individual situations. Based on my experience with my partner, we’ve decided on a Daddy – Babygirl role definition. Our age gap makes this role-play comfortable. It reflects her young age and my more experienced path. What solution you find is up to you. Always remember that changing mindsets and finding new ways can take time. Take one step at a time, and be patient.

There is a lot of value in the role play

Imagine what role-play can bring to a relationship. What if the man is throbbing horny thinking of fucking you, but can he be greatly satisfied and happy by not cumming, if you erotically take control of his desires? Sometimes the unthinkable can be a solution. I know not everyone can be alike, but I do know that everything is in the head. And I do know that everything is possible. If the brain is fresh and the creativity is limitless and the trust and love is used as a guidance.

Personally I greatly appreciate that it’s my beloved who decides if I can come. Or not. And she knows that the more she makes me suffer, the more erotic and satisfying sex with her is for me. Of course I wasn’t like this always, and so it’s a matter of trying, exercising and being creative.

Where openness, no shame and no taboo is key. I believe it’s important to change and adapt continually to make a relationship prosper in the long run.

Believing that a man can just change his thinking to something else instead of being horny with a fat big cock in his panties, well, you might be a bit naive to the reality of nature. If you however make him happy by positive and empathy communication, you might hit two flies in one hit. It’s not forbidden to also be smart and diplomatic in a relationship, working with natural forces instead of against natural forces.

Stallions

Telling a stallion not to be horny is unrealistic. Asking him to control his hormones is difficult. Telling a man not to be a man doesn’t align with how  we  got where we are, unfortunately for some. Great for most thank God.

I have read about age-gap relationships. He’s taking hormone shots. Otherwise, he is increasing his durability, which is perfectly all right. But changing habits or lifestyle can also help, so why not try this also?

Or what about accepting the reality, and moving into role-play or looking into other ways of bridging the gap? The goals are the results, not the way, is it? What about using learning and listening as a guideline, instead of preconceived opinions?

Role play is an exhilarating avenue to explore your sexual fantasies, allowing you to delve into the thrilling realm of power play if that excites you. As society evolves and embraces discussions about sex and kinks, it’s only natural that more people are confidently engaging in sexual scenarios and fantasies through the art of acting and imagination.